Part 2.
Part one of this series of commentaries highlighted the importance of self- awareness, self-esteem and taking responsibility for ourselves. We can ask ourselves a few questions:
What is important to me?
Am I optimistic?
Do I learn from mistakes?
Do I dwell on the past?
Do I take control of situations?
Do I tend to blame others?
Take two situations: The death of a loved one and bad news at work.
First imagine the death of a grandparent at a grand old age. Such final events evoke ranges of feelings. Are you sad or asking yourself why you are not sadder? Would you celebrate and be thankful for a life well lived? For how long is there a cloud over day to day life? How would you put the grandparent’s death into perspective?
Some people have a religious fall back. Some have a family with whom to share loss. In many cases, taking control of feelings, seeing the positives of the grandparent’s life, the happy memories, looking forwards not backwards and progressing alongside other loved ones are some ways we build resilience in such a situation.
Second, as asked on part one of this series, imagine you are told you are unsuited to your job. How do you react? Of course, there will be a sense of failure, disappointment and perhaps damaged self-worth. There may be outrage. We may find ourselves blaming colleagues or the inadequate training or the overwork. Strong self- awareness may lead us to agree or disagree with the judgement – either way, confidence in your own judgement/ self-esteem, will counter the negative emotions. Analysis of the boss’s rationale for their decision could lead just to disbelief, or maybe there will be learning from what things went wrong or what can be improved. If given another chance, we can continue to complain, looking only backwards or we can embrace the feedback proactively and embark on a path of change. It is obvious which of these behaviours lead to resilience and bouncing back.
Taking responsibility for self, optimism, learning from, not dwelling on, past problems, taking control, and looking forward with real hope are all resilience building blocks. And sharing a challenge with others can help build perspective. Perhaps it also helps to know that, almost certainly, others will have faced a similar challenge in the past and successfully navigated through it.
