Part 1
Recent reminders of heroic feats and grim determination of the military and civilians in World War 2, such as those of D Day, have stirred emotions of admiration as well as thanks in 2019. In a different vein, flooded homes and farms have devastated lives in regions of the UK, with images and stories of people fighting back determined to rebuild. Around the world such human endeavour and will to bounce back regularly inspire.
That is individuals, alone or with the help of others, facing, resisting and overcoming adversity. Resilience summarises the characteristics needed to meet these and all challenges, most of which are not so life threatening but can be mentally damaging.
All societies are facing up to increasing challenges of mental health as issues become more openly recognised and openly discussed. There is plenty of chat around what resources are required, how much money must be allocated and society’s responsibility for treatment of those suffering mental unwellness.
Is there enough debate and focus on how mental unwellness might be avoided by each of us without resort to centralised facilities? Perhaps some answers lie in individuals developing qualities and techniques to prevent them going too far down a slippery path of stress, unhappiness, and even depression.
Bad things happen to all people. How bad they are is a matter of degree, and what may be really bad for one person may be easy to handle for another. Is the real issue not the bad event or the bad treatment of a person by somebody else, but the way the person reacts to and deals with that event or behaviour, to control the impact? That is what resilience does: it controls the impact of the bad thing and allows the person to get on with life and perhaps even emerge the stronger.
Many parents worry for their children, for example being bullied at school, or over the internet; being insulted and diminished by others; and how they may cope with the difficulties of growing up in a world where norms are subject to change so quickly.
Education has a big role to play: to bring out role models of people, often from humble beginnings, who have emerged to overcome extreme challenges: Military personnel who, having been disabled in conflict, restore their pride and bounce back for example through athletic competition, as well as famous historic figures. And also, to then provide the tools to develop resilience in the day to day, less grand but very real, challenges that exist. Are our schools focussed sufficiently here? Are parents attuned to developing not only their own but their children’s resilience? Are schools and parents willing to expose children to risk enough (maybe in a controlled environment) so that they learn mechanisms to fight back or are they overprotective?
Perhaps a good starting point to develop resilience is to develop awareness and self- awareness, that is understanding events that are going on around us and then their potential impact on others, and particularly ourselves. Maybe we should all spend more time considering our strengths and weaknesses, accepting who we are. We are all encouraged to value and understand other people, and maybe we should learn to do the same to ourselves.
It is not for Sherbhert to tell others what to do. Experience however leads to the conclusion that the better our self-awareness, the stronger our self-esteem and the greater our confidence. That enables us to take responsibility, which in turn leads to more control. Sherbhert will look at characteristics which enhance resilience in later commentaries.
A question: if a colleague were to call you an idiot and a waste of space, how would you react and why?
